once i will stay
2007-04-10 – 20:26“Have you ever felt so freaking strange when you had to move to a new city, to Brussels, or at least to Warsaw? Cause I feel terrible here, I feel like getting on a train and going back.”
I am a person that is afraid to go in alone to a restaurant that I haven’t been to before. I would rather walk 20 minutes to the one I know.
The first weekend I stayed in Brussels was fucking horrible. I was wandering around with not much purpose. On the other hand would I have any purpose anywhere else? No, but at least I would have the comfort of going around the well known paths, killing time in the same places and then sleeping long and curing a hangover.
And then all these wonderful things happened. Great friends, amazing time. Chain reaction came unexpected and which still affects me with smaller and bigger blasts. And I wouldn’t change this experience for anything else. But what if there was no spark and no reaction?
When I really travel I like to leave places behind. Like a one night stand with a place and going forward, forward, forward. No commitments, always a tourist. But how long can you do like that? When comes that moment that you want to see exactly the same sunset again the other day. And when and why at some point you are sick of fucking sunsets?
I still feel like changing places. But how many brand new starts can you have? How many attempts to begin again?
There is too little sunshine and my thoughts are a big mess. Gimme a blanket and lay down aside. Or at least bring me a beer. Or just take me around and show me something new. And bring back the fucking sun. Too much work – my body is actively resisting to take anymore. Time to switch of my toys and start breathing.
